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This Month’s Deals – Bring Your Box of Stupid and Your Bag o’ Money

You know when a kitchen that looks like this is what “best” represents an LA shack, drive by before bothering the realty agent. Bring your mace too because anything under 400K in LA is NOT anyplace you wanna live without a vicious dog or two, barred windows, and an Uzi.

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On the bright side, the hypnotic whir of the blades of those police helicopters hovering at night can help you get hours of restful REM sleep. And it’s all available for one box of stupid and $310,000. And who are they kidding with these monthly payment estimates? What fool puts down 20% these days? You can have it for prac’ly nuttin with an interest-only-pay-what-you-feel-like loan that you can get by simply exaggerating your income by about four times what it is. It will appreciate like 200% in the next few years because real estate never goes down in Los Angeles and you can get a home-equity loan and use the money to buy an H2 and a crazy weekend in Vegas. 20%? Positively un-American.

Next charmer. What can I say? This beaut (probably described as a cozy bungalow by realty shills) speaks for itself at 329K.

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And they probably should change the name of the street this one is on to “El Moron Street” with a cost of nearly $700 a square foot!

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