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Like a Mood Ring of Sorts, for Medical Receptionists


See the green ball I added to this photo of the sour receptionist I dealt with today for about the 10th time. She doesn’t know I took her picture, so I smushed out her face so she doesn’t sue me for pointing out how rude and unprofessional she can be.

This would hang outside any receptionist’s window to alert clients and customers as to how sour her mood is that day.

Here we see the ball is green – quite sour – she might not scream at you for asking a question that has not been asked too often that day, but if you are the fourth person to ask, “Do I just sign in?” you will get:

“Sign in and sit down” with no eye contact


Silence and long sigh. You wait uncomfortably. Sign the chart. Stand there a moment awkwardly, not sure if she just didn’t hear the question. A moment later she offers,

“Why don’t you just sit down.”

Yes, the medical receptionist from Planet Schizoid. One day she is very “up” and asks ‘How are you today?’ The next time you come in you smile and say, “Hi!’ You think she is one of those nice receptionists based on your last encounter. You fool!
The mood ball would also let you know how entertaining your wait in the reception area will be.

Super Pink Sour: She will tell atleast three people that they should just sit down she has no idea how much longer it will be and someone will come for you when they are ready that’s all so sit down, ignore four questions, and yell at the people behind her, “Answer the phone would you I can’t do everything.”

Super Orange Sour: She will sign and point at the bathroom key if you ask “where is the bathroom?” and if you act confused by this obscure pointing she will pick up the key attached to a shoe insert and wave it at you.

Super Green Sour: She will mumble to herself while answering phones. She will not look at the sign in sheet until at least six people have come in and signed in leaving all of them wondering if they were supposed to also tell her they are here rather than just sign in and sit down. Dare you ask? Not if you have had the advantage of witnessing this “dumb question” asked by another hapless fool before you.

Yes, just a wee warning about the doctor’s receptionist would help so many people avoid being dressed down in a waiting room full of miserable sick/in pain people.

I think it’s a charming idea. The other idea: have her just say, “Hello welcome to the doctor’s office. Shut up, sit down, and fuck off until we call you.” It would be refreshing, such honesty.

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