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To Send an Ear-Shattering Scream, Press Two

With Congress often suggesting ridiculous bills to satisfy those who contribute oodles of money, I often wonder why they don’t extend this ridiculousness to bills that would simplify life for ordinary human beings.

Imagine if there were federal regulations about phone recordings that ask you to press 1 for this, 2 for that, 3 for this, 4 for that, then when you select an option you get five or six new options. As you weave through these options, you become more despairing as nothing seems to match exactly what you want to ask. You choose the closest thing you hear, then wait for 20 minutes or so (if you are lucky, less than half an hour) only to have to introduce yourself with,

“Hi, I’m not sure I pressed the right number…this is what I need”

It then varies as to what will happen to you. In the worst cases, you are given yet another “customer service” number to call (and I use “customer service” very loosely here).

Credit card companies and banks are probably some of the worst offenders. You must navigate baffling choices only to be put on music-hold to wait and find out if this person can indeed help you.

Savvier callers have figured out that if you hit zero or just refuse to make a choice, some companies will let you through to a real person. But those financial institutions learn quickly to eliminate even this options – as they find out how clever their customers can be at getting around the maze of numbers, they must sit down in their little cabals and say, “How can we make it even harder for them to actually get through to a human being.”

In fact, today I wanted to talk to Capital One about consolidating a couple of cards and getting a better deal with a travel rewards card. The closest choice I had was, get this, cancel your card. LOL!

There must be some way to make these phone mazes – and their customers’ lives – a little easier! And why not let that poor haggard caller desperately trying to figure out what number to push get through to a human being at some point!

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