My second favorite search was for “Film awards” – the Oscars website doesn’t appear until the second page of results, and then it’s some weird internal page.

Lots of junk sites have actually benefitted from the update – and in fact on some high-value searches that cost $40 or more in Google AdWords return results where one company has multiple sites in the top 10.

In fact one high-value search returns 3 sites from Narconon/Scientology in the top 10.  Really?   I do know one of these sites is well disguised so the visitor doesn’ t know who they are calling, but if you call they only recommend Narconon/Scientology programs.   Scary.

Any time folks figure out that Google is giving an advantage in search results, there are packs of black-hat SEO wolves descending to take advantage.  In the old days it was a lot easier to spot them: keyword stuffing, scraping content, cloaking, and other nefarious methods of tricking the search engines.  As someone who has been working in the behavioral health field for over 10 years, I have seen it all.  Although it takes a lot more work, money, and energy (and time) to get good results in Google by creating a quality site that is regularly updated with original, high-quality content, the benefit over the long run is that you never have to worry about being “hit” by a major algorithm correction.

Now, I call it an algorithm correction because that’s really what it is.  Google discovers there is a problem with their algorithm that is being exploited by lazy website owners, they make an adjustment, lazy website owners disappear from the top results.

So let’s talk about the impact of review spam in Google Places.  It has been singularly frustrating for me because I manage the SEO for what is considered the first Malibu Model of drug rehabs – Promises Treatment Centers. In fact, we have trademarked the term “Malibu Model” because Promises established this type of program almost two decades ago.  Of course, many rehabs have followed, some of dubious quality.

The biggest frustration is to have a Malibu address but never have your rehab show up on the map in Malibu.  For a while, Google Boost helped, but that tool was soon ended by Google.  Then they created “AdWords Express” which is like AdWords without any actual functionality. It’s truly bizarre. You can’t choose your relevant keywords – it does it for you, and not very well I must say.

I continue to examine why lesser rehabs do so well on the Malibu map and I’ve come to the conclusion that many have done so through phony reviews.  To me, this is particularly damaging to Google’s credibility.  I’m telling you that Promises would NEVER ask our clients to review us for a search engine. It’s distasteful at best, and unethical at worst.  We would be happy if some decided to do it on their own, but really, who wants to show up as reviewing a drug rehab?  There is still too much of a stigma associated.

How have other rehabs dealt with this? They have simply asked their SEO folks to create fake accounts and write fake reviews.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the reviews are hogwash – but here are  a few tell-tale signs.

1. The reviewer has only written one review, or if they have written a few reviews they are all associated with the same business type.

2. The reviewer has a remarkable grasp of the value of keywords in their review title.  Instead of writing a headline:   “Truly a wonderful place to get better” which would be a very natural one, they write “Drug Rehab Program Malibu” – right, that sounds like what a normal person would use as a headline in a review.

3. All the reviews are 5 stars.  Really?  Not one thing wrong?  20 people reviewed you as PERFECT?  Heck, even Michelin star restaurants get their share of 2-star reviews.

4. All the reviews are clustered around the same day or week. People generally hire outside SEO for a short time so they have to get those reviews up and done for them.

I never just look at how many stars a business gets. I always read the reviews.  You can spot the phony ones very quickly if you read a lot of reviews. You can also spot the phony reviews by competitors trying to harm a business.  This is another disgusting practice that I have seen friends suffer through on Yelp – haven’t quite seen it yet in Google Places, but you can bet it’s happening.

By reading reviews thoroughly you can generally get a sense of their authenticity and avoid choosing the wrong business – such as a rehab where you are sending a loved one with the hopes that they will find recovery from addiction.

Below this post is an image grab of a great example of phony SEO reviews. This particular rehab used to do very well in regular results by spamming – they would write daily junk press releases – Google did catch onto that and they plummeted in results. They are now doing phony review spam so they at least do well in local searches – and it is working like gangbusters for them (until Google catches on – hopefully soon!)

Clearly, spam has been a problem from the beginning for Google and every other search engine. Those who make money by taking short cuts will always try to stay one step ahead of Google, but in the end I have to believe that quality content will rule the day.

This week the exact same ad was disallowed, and the exception denied.  I was sent a link to the policy – Google loves to send links to policies.  I read the policy and could find nothing in that policy that indicated my ad would or should be disallowed.  I sent a follow-up email and was told by one of those people who just follow a script (you know, the ones on the phone you want to scream at because you know they are following a script and not actually thinking for themselves or listening to the nuances of your question) told me this:

“The Google advertising programme is managed by a set of policies which we develop based on several factors, including user and customer experience and legal considerations. We review our policies regularly and make changes to keep them current and effective. Our goal is to have policies that are fair, consistent, and adaptable.”

First off – programme?  Is Google now so snotty they want to use British spelling?  But I digress.

The point is I made a very reasonable and specific argument as to why they made a mistake, and even included examples of three current live ads running that were exactly like mine – treatment centers advertising that they treat prescription drug addiction – and instead of giving a thoughtful response such as “You know, what you say makes sense, let me run it up the ladder again,” I get – thems the rules!  Oh, and they will look at those ads to see if they are violating policies as well.

Clearly, Google has been wrestling with online pharmacies for some time now, but for a search engine that is able to figure out organic results and what should show up in the top of the SERPs without showing these illegal pharmacies, it seems impossible that they couldn’t have the same skill in determining what PAID ads should be allowed.

The truth is, these sort of odd, unexplainable things have been happening with Google’s paid advertising for years.

Great example:  in organic results Google is very good at figuring out what you want based on previous searches you’ve made – and sort of “gets it” if you type in a generic phrase such as “treatment centers.”  If you have been searching about drug or alcohol addiction and visiting sites related to drug addiction treatment, then you search the generic phrase “treatment centers,”  Google organic is pretty good at delivering relevant results.

Not so with Google AdWords.  The advertiser can have a site that clearly states they are an alcohol and drug addiction treatment center, but if you advertise on the phrase “treatment centers” you better darn well put in a list of 1000 negative keywords or your ad will show up on totally unrelated searches, such as lymphoma treatment centers, diabetes treatment centers, myasthenia treatment centers, vein treatment centers, and my all-time favorite, paraphilia treatment centers.

My negative keyword list actually includes words such as bariatric, cosmetic, urinating, stroke, ivf (yes, infertility treatment), tattoo, breast, acne, autistic, and garden.

Did I arbitrarily come up with this crazy list of negative keywords? No. I regularly review how Google is serving my keywords that are phrase matches to make sure I’m not paying for clicks on anything irrelevant.  Let me tell you, it’s like Google isn’t Google when it comes to irrelevant ad clicks.  They forgot everything they learned in organic searches and just shrugged their shoulders – I dunno. Maybe it’s relevant?

Of course, I am sure that a good percentage of their advertisers are quite naive and do not even put in any negative keywords.   Unless you regularly run reports on the actual phrases you are being clicked on, you could be paying for advertising that is absolutely meaningless to your business.

I’m waiting to see if someone (who isn’t “on script”) will talk to me about this new arbitrary and absurd policy of not allowing drug rehabs to advertise that they treat addiction to drugs that are the leading cause of drug overdose admissions to hospitals today  ( prescription drugs surpassed illegal drugs some time ago).

I’m not holding my breath.

I remember when Yahoo! got all arrogant and thought they ruled the world.  They had a crappy directory but made you jump through hoops to be included, then acted as if you were trying to pull something when you wanted your description to be more accurate in the results.  Yahoo! believed no one could ever challenge them.  They learned a lesson that is painful – as soon as you start acting as if you can do whatever you want without consideration for your clients or customers, some young upstart will figure out how to create something better, more nimble, and more effective.

Before I get to the congressmen, let’s look at Haley Barbour, Mississippi governor and well-known big mouth. This is the guy who thought FEMA did a bang-up job after Katrina.  This is the guy who is trying to grease the presidential wheels for himself by claiming he balanced his state’s budget.  This is the guy whose state ranks #1 at taking way more money from the Federal government than his state puts in.  This is a classic Welfare State – taking money from the blue states to “balance its budget.”    If we cut that largesse – and just gave Mississippi and Good Ole Boy HB back what they put in, we would save $7 billion a year.

Now let’s move on to Paul Ryan of Wisconsin, who is becoming the poster boy for destroying social safety nets. I mean, where is Sarah Palin and her talk of death panels?  You want to kill off old people, just make them buy private insurance with vouchers (this has to be the funniest and most absurd idea in the history of dealing with spiraling medical costs – what a boondoggle for insurance companies!).   And if you want to kill off poor people let corrupt states like Mississippi that ranks last in the nation for education figure out how to help their sick.  I mean, if they can’t figure out how to educate someone beyond an 8th grade reading level, how are they going to figure out paying for cancer treatments?

If we took Wisconsin’s Federal subsidies that go beyond what the state puts into the kitty, we’d save another BILLION dollars a year.  Wow, I’ve already cut 8 billion a year!

I’ll cut about another 40 billion thus:

Big mouth Joe “Liar” Wilson and Jim DeMint of South Carolina can give back $7 billion and change a year. What the hell? Are we subsidizing tobacco?

Steve King of Iowa (holy moly this guy is a real charmer – who actually votes for someone like this?) can give back the extra $2 billion his state gets – likely for farm subsidies so we can all get fatter on corn and potatoes.

Rand Paul of Kentucky? No, it can’t be? Another welfare state with one of the biggest tea party big mouths representin’ in Congress?  Yup.  $7 billion a year.  Give it back.

Marco Rubio and a bunch of other tea party whiners from Florida can give back the extra $10 billion a year they get.

Alabama’s rep Robert Aderhold self-identifies as a tea partier while his state rakes in an extra 10 billion than they pay in every year.

None of this takes into account just how big the percent of the money in the federal coffers comes from states like New Jersey, New York, California, Massachusetts…yes, for decades the blue states have subsidized red states. NO MORE.

Of course there are some exceptions – District of Columbia takes beaucoup bucks – mainly to support Federal programs – from the IRS to the CIA to the Department of Defense.  It’s expected because it is the seat of the Federal Government.  But Iowa? Kentucky? South Carolina?  Give us our money back. Let us spend it on states that don’t whine about taxes and like having bridges that don’t collapse, cities with sufficient law enforcement, and citizens with roofs over their heads.

Some might argue – that’s not fair to the people of those states who will be harmed.  I agree. We could do something Republicans love, a voucher system.  Let’s use Mississippi again as an example since it’s such a miserable, poorly managed state.  You could use some of the saved money to give people “get out of Mississippi free” cards.  If you are at the poverty level – or let’s say 2-3 times the poverty level since, face it, the poverty level number is so low you couldn’t live on dog food at it – you get a Voucher – worth say $10K – to move to a better state.   We’d still save a lot of money.  They would likely fare better in states that are better managed.

Frankly, in the end, if people don’t want the Federal government spending money, those people should not get extra Federal money.  Fair is fair.

Oh, and if they shut down the government I hope they make sure no one’s cleaning the toilets on Capitol Hill.  Let them stew in it while they hash out a so-called budget.

PS – forgot to mention Alaska – 2 billion a year more – thanks for the check, Sarah.

The recipe is not for anyone who can’t handle acidity – it’s a very powerful ragu.  You can get the recipe on the LA Times blog.  And here are the photos.

[Show as slideshow]

Apparently water delivery requires some special security regulations regarding address changes. I can’t do it through my online account. I have to call.

I first sent in the online form that allows me to choose the subject “Change my delivery address.”  I’m e-mailed back. No can do. Call us. Not sure why they bother to allow that subject to be selected on the form.

You can imagine the call. Lots of voice prompts asking me questions, then finally a voice informing me I’m finally at the right place, but I’ll probably have to hold for 25 minutes. To change my freaking delivery address?

I email again explaining that if they can’t change my delivery address, cancel my service. I’m not going to hold for 25 minutes.  Of course, no one reads the email. They send me the same automated message: no can do via email. Maybe they have a saved voice imprint that they check against my voice during the call to ensure I’m not a neighbor trying to steal Vera’s water?

This company seems to have some serious problems with technology. For one thing, the site is in Flash.  Every few times I go there, it requires me to do a software update.  Now, I have the $1200 Adobe professional suite with Flash, but apparently that’s not going to work for them.  OK.  Now shut down your browser to install this.  “It’s Easy!” they inform me.

Not easy enough. I have built and managed hundreds of website. There is no reason for their site to require special downloads. It’s a freaking site for ordering water!

It just seems the customer does not come first at Arrowhead. They need a new IT department and a new customer service attitude.

OK. Moving brings the rant out in me.

I just can’t go back to the wretched service of Yosemite Water.

Now there are Republican ads calling Sotomayor a friend of terrorists (still trying to get that tack to work). They are calling her “radical” – of course her judicial record is anything but.

The word “perseveration” keeps coming back to me. Having grown up around someone with Asperger’s syndrome, I know what perseveration looks like. For those who don’t, here’s the Wikipedia definition:

Perseveration is the uncontrollable repetition of a particular response, such as a word, phrase, or gesture, despite the absence or cessation of a stimulus, usually caused by brain injury or other organic disorder.

If an issue has been fully explored and discussed to a point of resolution it is not uncommon for something to trigger the re-investigation of the matter. This can happen at any time during a conversation. This is particularly true with those who have had traumatic brain injuries.

Those with Asperger’s syndrome also display a form of perseveration in that they focus on one or a number of narrow interests.

I am wondering if the happy little Wikipedia elves shouldn’t add a line in here about super-right-wing-nut Republicans.  They keep revisiting these ideas over and over, even after their repeated failure and even after being shot down by the majority of Americans.  Is it that they believe if they say them often enough they’ll find a sufficient number of sheep to follow?  I suppose it’s possible this could work, but their arguments are so distasteful and obnoxious that they make a mockery of intelligent discourse in American politics. I am convinced these are the people who truly hate America. They claim they are the ones who really love America, but what they really love are their batshit crazy ideas.  I’m not sure there is a group that shows more disdain for Americans, and what is America but Americans?