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What the F Is Wrong with This Guy

What the F Is Wrong with This Guy

Originally uploaded by Smash Monster

Old guy playing hand-held video game? Nope. I partake in a little
Resistance Fall of Man myself. The fact he played it on a plane full
of people flying to Paris with the sound effects volume turned up?
Yeah, that would be it.

Sent from phone

Southwest ClusterF*&#


Southwest airlines clusterf#$*. Still waiting to board a plane after arriving at the airport early getting moved to an earlier flight then SWA cancels the flt to take it to vegas instead and makes everyone line up for new boarding passes (and ignores my business select fare and drops me from a3 to b33 – the kind of day that turns you off an airline forever.

Delta SkyMiles – Even with 70000 miles there is no such thing as upgrades

I think once and for all the airlines should admit that upgrades are a load of hogwash. To qualify for an upgrade you have to buy a class of ticket that costs almost as much as the first class ticket already. In fact, if you buy an expensive coach ticket (more than normal fare) because of a later reservation, then ask to upgrade, they will ask you to buy a higher grade of ticket that seems to actually cost MORE than buying a first class ticket in the first place. Continue reading →

Visiting My Hometown in Florida

I arrived today in Seminole, Florida, where I grew up. Someone pointed out to me the other day how they moved from place to place as a child and that it must be nice to visit the house you grew up in. There is a certain sense of roots that come with having a childhood home to visit every year – but then Florida has a rootless quality to it.
About my trip here today…

I flew Delta Song, which will soon be a defunct branch of Delta Airlines. The planes are all one class and every seat has a video monitor built into the headrest. You can watch satellite TV or purchase a movie. The entertainment really keeps your mind off the guy with the hacking cough sitting next to you. You can disappear into your own world.

The only bad decision Delta made was making these “touch-screen” TVs. You tap the screen to change channels, pick movies, etc. You wouldn’t think this tapping would do much, but when the guy behind you is a channel surfer it feels like a hyperactive woodpecker is roosting in the back of your headrest.

I try to hit the screen gently – but sometimes it just…won’t…take…my…FREAKING…SELECTION…

Then I see the person in front of me squirming, trying to dislodge the pesky woodpecker going at the back of her head.

United Airlines

Let me tell you, these people really made me work for a new seat to go home early after injuring my leg on their plane going to Denver.

I wonder if the government stopped bailing out airlines if they would feel a little more compelled to focus on their customer rather than on how to cut benefits and wages and get out of debt-jail free. Continue reading →

My Not Fun Day

Goal – get from Los Angeles to a hotel in Piscataway, NJ where I’m going to be attending a friend’s daughter’s bat mitvah. Time door-to-door: 10 hours 30 minutes.

These days traveling by air is about as much fun as eating ground glass. The flight wasn’t the bad part – although it was a very restless plane. Maybe you have experienced a restless plane. It is when many passengers seem to have some sort of nervous disorder that forces them to get up, go into the overhead and get something, stand in the aisles, up and down, find a flight attendant…get something else out of the overhead compartment.

I was once on a flight I called the incontinence flight – I’ve never seen so many people have to pee so many times in 4 hours.
Anyway, the flight was ok although there were many people with overstuffed overhead bags who were determined to smush them into the too-small compartments. Those same people had to put their bags way behind their row – which made them very anxious. So anxious in fact that they got out of their seats while the plane was still taxiing to the gate so they could run back and get them before the masses rose. There is something disturbing about someone pulling down a suitcase over your head while they try to catch their balance as the plane brakes at the gate. Jerks.

Once off the plane, I had to navigate many hallways, an escalator down, another hallway, and escalator UP (huh?) then through a giant empty room, past baggage claim (I don’t check bags). All the while I’m looking for the rental car signs typically seen in modern-day airports….hmmm, but not in JFK International in NYC…

Continue reading →

The Sad Decline of Delta Airlines

I am hoping Delta survives their financial woes because it has been my only direct flight from LA to Tampa – a trip I make every year to the town I grew up in. Continue reading →