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Browsing all posts in No, Really, This Happened.

Birds Dropping from the Sky – In Two Parts of the World

The story of birds dropping dead in Austin Texas about a week ago was weird enough, but thousands died in Australia just a few weeks ago too. Coincidence? Very bizarre.

Bitter Old Shrew (BOS)

The saga continues: my new nickname for the mean-spirited, greedy uncle is now bitter old shrew (BOS for short). My dad loves it: he says after decades of knowing this man, this phrase describes him perfectly. The latest shot across the deck was a supposed “synopsis” of events that occurred in the guardianship – filled with misrepresetations and paranoid meanderings (as well as a few funny childish insults about my weight). My dad and I had a good laugh, while I could hear my mom in the background stating the real truth: “It’s all about the money.”
My new idea for the book I plan to write on this experience: warnings to the current crop of Baby Boomers about how to protect yourself from self-serving, greedy relatives through iron-clad durable POAs and specifications about who you would want to be your guardian or make your health care decisions should you become incapacitated for any reason. This experience has taught me just how important this is. Imagine if my aunt had put one of the vultures salivating over her estate in charge of her welfare? I highly doubt she would get the kind of expensive care she is getting now.
Pick the person you know LOVES YOU MORE THAN THEY LOVE YOUR MONEY.
Otherwise you could end up with someone making decisions based not on what is best for you, but what is best for their potential inheritance. I do not scrimp on my aunt’s care – because I don’t give a damn about her money.
It’s amusing to see what prevaricating fools supposedly intelligent people become when money is involved. And the paranoia! It almost seems pathological at this point. I suppose it is possible this person has a mental illness and cannot help it – I’m beginning to suspect there is something terribly wrong with him after reading this letter that seem to be written by someone suffering from delusions.
The most amusing part was his declaration that I would probably only contact one particular family member. Well, yes, that is the case. Right in front of my lawyer BOS stated he DID NOT WANT me to call him, but preferred the Geriatric Care Manager do so. I asked again to confirm that he did not want me to call – and he stated again that he preferred the GCM do so. Now he pretends he is upset I won’t communicate directly? That does sound a bit like someone who is not quite right in the head. Whatever might be wrong with his brain, there is nothing wrong with mine. Therefore, I will fulfill my fiduciary and personal responsibilities to my aunt and feel confident in the knowledge that she was smart enough to know not to trust these other family members.
There was a reason Vera picked me, and that reason becomes clearer as I “get to know” the people she denied this honor. It is an honor. I feel honored that she trusted me. And based on the last few encounters with BOS, she was right not to trust him.

Cute Little Labrador Puppies as Drug Mules – Sick Bastards

Frankly, I don’t know why we don’t just legalize drugs and let the losers who want to use go ahead and use and then put the “War on Drugs” money into treatment.

This new Medillin trick of surgically implanting heroin packs in the bellies of labrador puppies shows that no matter what you do in the war on drugs, they will find some other perverse way to get drugs into the United States.

Read the story on the State Department website

Your Mommy’s a Whack Job

PETA’s new brochure, Your Daddy Kills Animals, really takes the cake. Men who fish might end up killing the family dog! It would be great if someone would write counter-comics for these absurd pieces that try to frighten children. Just take a look at this screen grab of part of their brocure:

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Nice.

If anyone is an artist and would like to work on the counter-comic, “Your Mommy Is a Whack Job” let me know. I’m thinking pictures of hysterical looking women throwing blood on people wearing fur, releasing monkeys from labs, nutso stuff like that, with a little warning for children, “You might want to call social services if you are not getting enough protein in your diet and feel weak at school. Also, steer kooky mommy away from people who appear to be preaching as they might be from a cult and your mommy is probably very impressionable and may end up joining. You could end up in a cult like one run by Charles Manson and your mommy might make you do awful things to promote the beliefs of the cult!”

Some other brochure titles to consider: “Your Mommy Has Too Much Time on Her Hands,” “Your Daddy Cares More About Fishies Than Starving AIDS Babies in Africa,” “Maybe If You Were a Puppy or a Kitty Your Mommy Would Love You Too”

Dumb

About 160,000 people in the state were under mandatory evacuation orders, including the entire population of the Florida Keys island chain. There was no way of knowing exactly how many actually left, but it appeared only about 20 percent of the 78,000 Keys residents fled, said Billy Wagner, senior Monroe County emergency management director.

One Text Message Says It All

“I just ate an MRE” — military rations — “and crapped in the hallway of the Superdome along with 30,000 other close friends so I understand her concern about busy restaurants.”

Talking about Heck-of-a-job-Brownie’s.

Read it and weep.

Shocking. Really. So Shocking. Really Shocking.

Not.

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I particularly like it when these kinds of reports show up on FOX. Must make Murdy sooooo stinkin’ mad.

Got Ice?

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The Ice-capades could be appearing soon in a town near you.

What Is a Chickenhawk?

The word has lost meaning over time – but essentially it is someone who avoids serving in the military (finds ways to get around the draft, or otherwise keeps out of the messiness of wars) while vociferously demanding more money for military build up. Essentially too chicken to go to war, but really likes war as an option vs. diplomacy that seems suspiciously “French.”

Get this 1999 recounting of Delay’s explanation as to why he and Dan Quayle were prevented from serving in Vietnam.

He and Quayle, DeLay explained to the assembled media in New Orleans, were victims of an unusual phenomenon back in the days of the undeclared Southeast Asian war. So many minority youths had volunteered for the well-paying military positions to escape poverty and the ghetto that there was literally no room for patriotic folks like himself. Satisfied with the pronouncement, which dumbfounded more than a few of his listeners who had lived the sixties, DeLay marched off to the convention.

Original story

Credit Where Credit Is Due

Haley Barbour Just Loves FEMA

Mississippi’s Haley Barbour is just so happy with the Federal government’s response!
More of that weird disconnect between politicians and ordinary citizens.

But it’s so darn weird. He won’t even criticize Brown, the administration’s sacrificial goat.

Something is just off with this guy.