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Browsing all posts in Cellphone Exhibitionists.

Not Only Her Business, But Paula Abdul’s Business, Is Everyone’s Business

My friend related this story of another Cellphone Exhibitionist who was particulary unprofessional while chatting on her cell at the Trader Joe’s in Culver City. She was a tall, thin woman with short, rather butch, frosted hair. She was wearing a puffy vest – sort of like a hunter’s vest. She wandered through the aisles discussing Paula Abdul – she is getting some new reality show. She proceded to regale the person on the other end of the line and half of Trader Joe’s with a story of filming the reality series – according to her Paula Abdul was very late for fliming, everyone was waiting for her, and when she showed up hours later she was very upset because everyone was angry at her. She kept apologizing about being late.

My friend was horrified that this woman was telling this story loudly at Trader Joe’s – and frankly, the only reason I’m posting it is so that someone who works with the tall, butch-haircutted woman might identify her to her bosses so they can teach her a little bit about keeping her big mouth shut when talking on her cell phone in public.

The only Cellphone Exhibitionist who beats this one so far is the man who was discussing a comatose organ donor while eating at the UCLA medical center cafe.

I assume the woman at Trader Joe’s wanted everyone to think she was really important – she knows the inside scoop on poor Paula. I tend to suspect that people who talk loudly on cell phones about Hollywood business are pretty freaking LOW on the totem pole so to speak – so they need to blab in public because they think it makes them look “important.”

Conversation with George (no, not you George)

It’s been a while since I was privy to a long drawn out private phone conversation by a Cellphone Exhibitionist, but today at the Rumor Mill, a coffee shop/cafe on Washington Blvd., there were a couple of people holding long, deeply personal phone conversations in loud voices to be sure everyone knew their private business. One person in particular seemed really keen on letting the world know the details of her life, so I’m going to help her out:

Someone named George called this woman who appeared to be in her late 50s – or she could be younger but have had a lot of sun exposure because she referred often during the conversation to “paddling or biking.”
She started out by saying, “I was just thinking about you. Last night I think it was.” She seemed to be hedging about some plans – like maybe she was supposed to call him back but didn’t. Her excuse? “I thought maybe I’d bump into you.”

Apparently the plans were for tonight, but she couldn’t really do it because she is taking care of a neighbor’s dog, a Yorkie – what she described as “a pain in the ass.” She has to walk HER dog separately because the yorkie is too small and can’t keep up with her dog.

She thought about doing whatever next week, but then realized she can’t because she has yoga all next weekend.

The conversation continued for a while, with lots of responses of “Cool” on her end. George is apparently on a diet, but had some problems that must have been gross because the lady kept saying “Ew.” and then later said, “Oh my gosh.” I’m thinking really bad puking and diarrhea were being discussed.

Then she chimed in that they should get together because she “can’t eat anything either” as she is cutting down on salt and trying to lower her cholesterol. She is going to try a new fiber – Benefiber – because she heard it is really good to bring your cholesterol down.

More “ews” on her part as she listened to the fellow named George. Apparently he wanted to tell her more about his recent digestive problems. The conversation moved to flax seed oil. She thought that sounded interesting and planned to try it possibly.

She suddenly shifted the conversation to a plastic boat she’s selling. “It’s a good boat. It’s got a, whaddayacallit on the back, a rudder!” (LOL).

She only wanted $400 for the boat. “I paid 5. I think I’ll throw in a paddle. Not my good one, a cheap one I bought.”

[FYI – She mentioned she might be putting this boat on Craig’s List – so if you see it for $500 you will know there is some negotiating room and you can bargan her down to 400.]

She told George she’s sorry he’s been ill and hopes they can do some paddling or biking soon. (She asks him if they all ate at the same restaurant, which makes me think the “ew” discussion was about a case of food poisoning.)

George has kids apparently – she asked about them. They decided that they would try to go bike riding in two weeks, and the conversation ended.

Thank you. Now I can read my paper in peace.

Now All She Needs is a Megaphone

Ever seen this? A woman standing outside a store having a big old LOUD personal discussion on a cell phone about some jerk in her life?

Yesterday this woman was doing this outside the Pavillion’s in Culver City. She wanted everyone all up in her business it seems. I could literally hear her talking about some guy who pissed her off even though I was across the parking lot, about 10 cars away. I kept looking over trying to get more of the gist of the rant, but she actually looked at me with this look that said, “Do you mind, I am having a personal conversation here.”

Best Overheard Cell-Phone Talk This Month

Guy standing outside a coffee shop says to whomever on the other end of the line:

“Yeah, I found a guy who’ll do it. Fidel. Yeah, the Cuban guy.”

Cellphone Exhibitionists

I was inspired to start this new category when I was sitting in a restaurant today and was forced to listen to a rather disturbing conversation.

I’m sure many people have at one time or another been subjected to these bizarre, one-sided conversations in which the cellphone user seems completely oblivious to how inappropriate it is to say what they are saying in public, around strangers – I wonder if they are profoundly damaged people who either:

A. Suffer from the delusion that they are so interesting or fascinating or important that EVERYone will feel privileged to have a glimpse into their private or professional life.
B. Completely unaware of their boundaries or personal space
C. Are completely aware but feel utterly entitled to be horses’ asses

I’m sure many others are sick to death of hearing someone describe their boyfriend’s failings, boss’ underhanded dealings, or how they told a friend her husband was cheating on her…or one of the worst I’ve had to endure – a bipolar ADULT woman in competition with her clearly also bipolar boyfriend – “No, you hang up first. No you. No. hahaha. No you hang up first. Really! You first! Hahahahaha. Noooo. You hang up first.”

Read on for the first conversation. And know, you cellphone exhibitionists, that I might be sitting next to you in that cafe, in front of you in that movie theater (believe it or not – TWICE), or standing in the grocery aisle, memorizing your conversation so I can send it out to the world right here in black and white.

I will set myself a few rules (and anyone else who wants to post crazy overheard calls should abide by these):

-Only post conversations where the person is in an obviously public place with no expectation of privacy

-Only post such conversations if the person clearly wants others to overhear the conversation (e.g., makes no attempt at being discreet by moving away from people and talking in a low voice).

In other words, I won’t “try” to hear these convos (God knows most of them are wretchedly dull), I will only write about those I was FORCED to listen to by one of this new breed: Cellphone Exhibitionists.

My first conversation below that finally pushed me to this point!

I was early for an appointment so stopped in at a little cafe for a quick sandwich. I sat two tables over from a man who was eating alone. His conversation made me feel queasy. I ate fast and left as soon as I could.
He was clearly talking about a relative who needed an organ transplant and finally had a viable donor – discussing how many days in ICU, when they would be down to only “IVs” and when they would come home.
Then, in a very loud voice mind you, he discussed the FREAKING ORGAN DONOR.
“She’s 5’4″ 140 pounds. A little heavy, but not too bad. A good donation. She was in a car accident and is brain dead. Didn’t have much damage to her body….yes, it’s a good donation.”
Sounded like he was discussing a blob filled with organs all in good shape (though maybe a bit on the fatty side) for his relative.
Bastard. Save the conversation for “private time.”