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Cellphone Exhibitionists

I was inspired to start this new category when I was sitting in a restaurant today and was forced to listen to a rather disturbing conversation.

I’m sure many people have at one time or another been subjected to these bizarre, one-sided conversations in which the cellphone user seems completely oblivious to how inappropriate it is to say what they are saying in public, around strangers – I wonder if they are profoundly damaged people who either:

A. Suffer from the delusion that they are so interesting or fascinating or important that EVERYone will feel privileged to have a glimpse into their private or professional life.
B. Completely unaware of their boundaries or personal space
C. Are completely aware but feel utterly entitled to be horses’ asses

I’m sure many others are sick to death of hearing someone describe their boyfriend’s failings, boss’ underhanded dealings, or how they told a friend her husband was cheating on her…or one of the worst I’ve had to endure – a bipolar ADULT woman in competition with her clearly also bipolar boyfriend – “No, you hang up first. No you. No. hahaha. No you hang up first. Really! You first! Hahahahaha. Noooo. You hang up first.”

Read on for the first conversation. And know, you cellphone exhibitionists, that I might be sitting next to you in that cafe, in front of you in that movie theater (believe it or not – TWICE), or standing in the grocery aisle, memorizing your conversation so I can send it out to the world right here in black and white.

I will set myself a few rules (and anyone else who wants to post crazy overheard calls should abide by these):

-Only post conversations where the person is in an obviously public place with no expectation of privacy

-Only post such conversations if the person clearly wants others to overhear the conversation (e.g., makes no attempt at being discreet by moving away from people and talking in a low voice).

In other words, I won’t “try” to hear these convos (God knows most of them are wretchedly dull), I will only write about those I was FORCED to listen to by one of this new breed: Cellphone Exhibitionists.

My first conversation below that finally pushed me to this point!

I was early for an appointment so stopped in at a little cafe for a quick sandwich. I sat two tables over from a man who was eating alone. His conversation made me feel queasy. I ate fast and left as soon as I could.
He was clearly talking about a relative who needed an organ transplant and finally had a viable donor – discussing how many days in ICU, when they would be down to only “IVs” and when they would come home.
Then, in a very loud voice mind you, he discussed the FREAKING ORGAN DONOR.
“She’s 5’4″ 140 pounds. A little heavy, but not too bad. A good donation. She was in a car accident and is brain dead. Didn’t have much damage to her body….yes, it’s a good donation.”
Sounded like he was discussing a blob filled with organs all in good shape (though maybe a bit on the fatty side) for his relative.
Bastard. Save the conversation for “private time.”

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