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Conversation with George (no, not you George)

It’s been a while since I was privy to a long drawn out private phone conversation by a Cellphone Exhibitionist, but today at the Rumor Mill, a coffee shop/cafe on Washington Blvd., there were a couple of people holding long, deeply personal phone conversations in loud voices to be sure everyone knew their private business. One person in particular seemed really keen on letting the world know the details of her life, so I’m going to help her out:

Someone named George called this woman who appeared to be in her late 50s – or she could be younger but have had a lot of sun exposure because she referred often during the conversation to “paddling or biking.”
She started out by saying, “I was just thinking about you. Last night I think it was.” She seemed to be hedging about some plans – like maybe she was supposed to call him back but didn’t. Her excuse? “I thought maybe I’d bump into you.”

Apparently the plans were for tonight, but she couldn’t really do it because she is taking care of a neighbor’s dog, a Yorkie – what she described as “a pain in the ass.” She has to walk HER dog separately because the yorkie is too small and can’t keep up with her dog.

She thought about doing whatever next week, but then realized she can’t because she has yoga all next weekend.

The conversation continued for a while, with lots of responses of “Cool” on her end. George is apparently on a diet, but had some problems that must have been gross because the lady kept saying “Ew.” and then later said, “Oh my gosh.” I’m thinking really bad puking and diarrhea were being discussed.

Then she chimed in that they should get together because she “can’t eat anything either” as she is cutting down on salt and trying to lower her cholesterol. She is going to try a new fiber – Benefiber – because she heard it is really good to bring your cholesterol down.

More “ews” on her part as she listened to the fellow named George. Apparently he wanted to tell her more about his recent digestive problems. The conversation moved to flax seed oil. She thought that sounded interesting and planned to try it possibly.

She suddenly shifted the conversation to a plastic boat she’s selling. “It’s a good boat. It’s got a, whaddayacallit on the back, a rudder!” (LOL).

She only wanted $400 for the boat. “I paid 5. I think I’ll throw in a paddle. Not my good one, a cheap one I bought.”

[FYI – She mentioned she might be putting this boat on Craig’s List – so if you see it for $500 you will know there is some negotiating room and you can bargan her down to 400.]

She told George she’s sorry he’s been ill and hopes they can do some paddling or biking soon. (She asks him if they all ate at the same restaurant, which makes me think the “ew” discussion was about a case of food poisoning.)

George has kids apparently – she asked about them. They decided that they would try to go bike riding in two weeks, and the conversation ended.

Thank you. Now I can read my paper in peace.

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